A fragile Life...

Hearing what my wife said about how one of her classmates discovered that she had throat cancer while in the US pursuing her Masters just blew us away. It's like life is so fragile...leads you to wonder how sometimes you can plan for things, only to realise that life is so fragile, and how we should try to live our lives to the max, to enjoy what we have, and to be happy for what we have.

Thankfully, the Uni had strict medical requirements, otherwise she would never have known what hit her. Leads you to worry and feel afraid. But sometimes, we need to stay positive. Because there is nothing much we can do, other than to pray and believe. There is a plan, and its just that we dont know what it is...

Dar, sometimes we just have to trust the Lord. Sometimes there is no answer (not the reasonings that we expect anyways). But that does not mean we should just give up. We just have to learn to believe in him and pray that he will deliver us through and give strength.

Fortitude

Listening to what my dar has to say about the newspaper article makes me sad. Sad that I am not there with her, sad that she is being discouraged for doing well.

To a certain extent, I feel helpless that I cant do anything much for her, less lending her a listening ear. If only I could be physically with her. And yet, I cant help but thank God for giving us Shaun. At least he can be my proxy to keep her company. And give her the support she so badly needs.

I think I know what she is feeling. The fact of not being appreciated for trying and doing what you do. Makes you feel like a lump of shit, asking yourself why you are doing it. Strange, this is what you get for wanting to do your best for the organisation. Or is it like what I wrote previously...this a means to strengthen us? I hope so. I've asked myself this question. If she is doing well, why should she make herself do badly, just to please people? We are taught to be sensitive and politically inclined so that we dont step on people's toes....but what the heck, at the expense of ourself? I think, as long as the conscience is clear and you have some support form the family, and for her 1 friend (I hope), that is enough. We should live for ourselves, and treat it as a lesson learnt...that you need to take care of yourself. If it pisses people, so be it.

The whole family is behind you. In all that you do. At the end of the day, if you are happy, we are happy... with and for you.

Confidence or Contentment

Today, I had a little discussion with my wifie on confidence. She mentioned how living in the States has changed her life, making her understand the importance of confidence, and how she is going to be a "very different mother" when she is back, enrolling the kids in speech, drama classes and seeing the world. I had countered that I think contentment is important as well, since not everyone who runs the track wants to do it the same way.

Strangely, like I tell her, I think the change is good for her personality, because I really believe she is capable of bigger things. Of course, if the kids are capable of that as well, all the better. I know that I, for example, have an inclination (after my own experiences) for doing what makes me happy. I mean I like to think that I contribute to the organisation in whatever post I've been. And because life is full of challenges, especially when you least expect it, I would rather live for myself, as in doing what I want to do---aka contentment. Rather than clamour for more $$, more recognition, doing things better, I would rather do things because I want to do them.

Sure, I think we will have our differences. But as long as we agree to disagree, and we agree that we have the kids' interest at heart, I believe we can work things through. At least for me, I know how much absence works on me, and how it has made me evaluate my priorities in life. Confidence or contentment...if only life was so clear-cut.