bad day at work...questions of priority

Had a shitty day at work (so what's new?). Sometimes, you wonder why you try so hard. Money? Satisfaction? Work ethics? To think that I have had so many ECAs thrown to me, making me lose my precious time with 3 little ones. And in return, you get scolded. I am not going to even say why, since so many factors are involved. It just makes me ponder of priorities in life. Alas! if only I could provide enough for the family, yet able to enjoy them for what they are.

I suppose sometimes, we need to be challenged. We need to be driven to the wall, so that we will learn to appreciate, so that we become stronger, so that we know what our priorities in life should be.

1/3 down, 2/3 more

And so my dearest had returned back to school after her 1 week trip home. Seems so fast. Although we didnt get to travel or eat much, even the little time that we spend together was precious...only that it was unfortunate that the kids fell sick (and all of them) and my dearest really didnt take too well to the weather and was puking more than she did back in the States.

I was really worried about the plane trip back. Hearing that it was quite a smooth trip was really reassuring...although the walking back to the apartment at 230am did freak me out a little...trust her to do such things...

Dar, I know no matter what I say will not be able to reduce your stress much. I cant claim to understand how you feel exactly but I know it's really tough. I can only pray for you, and ask you to be strong. Count the days and try not to look to the end as yet. Its tough but dont pressure yourself thinking so much. At least you can look forwards to cleaner air, the autumn season and revel in some snow (and the cold...). It wil be sooner than you think when I visit you in Oct. I'm telling myself to look forwards to that as well. I just hope that the package that I sent can pass through unscathed, then at least you have some foodstuff to enjoy as well.

As always, I just want to tell you that you have already achieve more than what you expected. It is really something that you have done in the past 2 months: surviving on your own, doing yourself proud in your presentation and learning more about yourself, your identity and your feelings for the family. I am sure that you will be able to look back at this memory with much pride and the memories and experience will make you a better, stronger person!

Loneliness

As i was driving today after dropping off the kids and buying stuff for my wife, the loneliness attack struck. Well, it has been like this...esp when I am driving alone and 933's love songs are on air. It's like I've lost a part of me, and nothing seems to interest me. I mean work is work, and for me, Work is never THE thing. Call me bo chap or chai, but even when I am doing things I am interested, I am like that.

If i feel lost, I bet my wife would be even more so. At least I have the kids with me to occupy me. It's strange sometimes, when she is around, its like there is hardly time, after deducting it for work, kids, her (and shopping) etc.. But now, I find I do have time, which is why I can put in like 1 golf practise a week. But it's an undescribeable feeling. I may have time, but there is no interest. Guess that's what it means by "absence makes the heart grow fonder".

I'm waiting for her return. Also worried about No.4. Just hope that everything will be alright.

Thoughts after 33

So I turned 33 yesterday, and was busy at work and sending off guests. Well, but I had a fantabuluous golf cake, courtesy of my wife. And we had a really different celebration this time. Though Dar was on the other side of the world, she felt right at home...all thanks to new technology..



Was at the Novena today before picking up the last guest from the hotel. Strange to hear the priest talking about married couples and how to keep it going. Dar, u're going to be surprised to hear this, but it was about how couples should have sex to keep the relationship alive...

But on reflection, I was like thinking how long ago was it that I had "stopped my favourite activity". Now that you are on the other side of the world, looking at you seems to have a new meaning. But well, guess being apart does bring greater reflection and understanding...

Glad to hear tat you have found a nice golf place. Have fun while u still can. I'm sorry that you will have to keep off it for a good nine months after the 1st trimester, but we'll get going once you are able to....

33rd surprise

Suffice to say, things were a little unexpected today. I should have guessed when my wife called to ask me to be home to webcam. Dar, you and yr mischievous idea...And I should drive home to meet Shawn...and the surprise package.

It's really amazing isnt it? Although we are physically apart, we can still give each other surprises. Thanks for yr thoughtfulness! I am happy that I would not have to buy something for myself by myself..ha ha. Dar, even though I will be busy on my own BD, I am glad to know that underneath the same stars, you are still there. I just hope that you will take good care of yourself, and No.4. I pray that God will grant you the peace, fortitude and perseverance, in a faraway land, carrying our 4th bundle, studying... You are amazing and I have mentioned this a few times already. Take good care, and I will wait for you to be back in 3 weeks time, and then we can go have a feast...