A Parent's Anguish

Just had a scolding session for big 2...and when Nigel apologised, leaving Claire, it's like I had to be firmer, so I took her out and demanded an answer from her; on whether she was right or wrong. Eventually she had to give in when I threatened to throw her out of the house. Well, I did not lose it completely and eventually got to explaining to her about her actions.

Is this a parent's anguish? I certainly felt it. On the one hand, I had to exert my authority, yet the back of my head was like thinking she's only 6, will she leave the house when she is in her teens? Her stubborness reminded me a lot of wifie (no this is not personal). It's just that she was young and so I had more control of the situation. But it really hurts inside in this session. How does a parent translate his/her love? It's like I want to give them all, but how do I show them I love them and want all that is good for them, yet mould their character. I want them to have convictions for what they believe in and yet conforming to be "good". Cant help but question what if I cant give them the attention and time. My biggest worry is my children ...and my wife after all....Only faith can show the way. Belief in God's plan.

Dreams

Heard about the PHD dreams of my dar today. Well, I am all for it; I know that she has the aptitude and she is really cut for it. Just that 4 years in US would mean that we have to think carefully about the implications in terms of money and the kids. But I really would wish that she can fulfil it. Like I said to her, there would be a way, I'm sure. God would provide, maybe there is possibility for part-time or an Aust uni instead. Dar, live your dreams, know that I would support you. No, its not at my expense...It's my dream too.

Pat tor days...

Just came back from the wedding dinner of my best man. Well, like he said, it was a long time coming that we returned the favour (since he was the one who initiated the meeting between me and my wife).

But it was their montage of their lovey-dovey days that brought back memories of me and my wife. Those carefree days, when all we knew were each other's existence, and how we kept each other company almost 24 hrs a day. I can still remember vividly the old plaza singapura, where we were on a date and how I had to excuse myself to do big business (so pai seh on 1 of our first few dates, but well I guess she got the hang of it). Then there was the quarrels while waiting for 131 at the Fullerton (then the old GPO), or how I almost got into an accident while being jealous of her male friends...so many memories in the years we spent together.

Indeed, the wedding was a 1-day event but the journey of the marriage is forever. I will be looking forwards to meeting her in NY in mid Nov...counting down

Wu Long

And it should be my "wu longness" that caused my wife to miss my Claire's birthday celebration. Dont know how, but I allowed my anti virus programme to disable my lap top from accessing the internet. Strangely, I thought about it and realised that it was probably the anti virus only today. Ok...still can set the webcam to let my wife talk to claire tomoro.

Sorry dar, to make you wake up and fall sick. Was really worried about you when you told me so. Trust me to be so wu long. I hope that you are much better. But last night when I got to see you on the web cam with Shaun, made me feel warm. Taught me a lesson though. Here's the photos for you again...love